Life's New Page

Date and have fun

You're over forty and trying to get back into the dating scene.  Thinking back to when you were in your twenties, it seemed so easy to catch a man's eye.  A little smile, or even a prolonged glance did the trick.  You also may have done so wild and crazy things.  Maybe you made out in the elevator of his apartment building, or you took a road trip in his VW bug with the missing door handle.  But is all that game playing just for kids?  

Dating should be fun.  A little harmless flirting just adds to the enjoyment.  Too often women over forty tend to get too serious and apprehensive about dating.  A man told a woman I know that she had a beautiful name.  She rebuffed his comment and wondered what his real motives were for the remark.  I think she just has a nice name.  Much of this defensiveness I guess is from the battle wounds we carry from all those Prince Charmings that turned out to be heels. But you know what they say about riding a horse.  If you fall off, you have to just get back on. Let down your guard a little and open yourself up.  Try something new.  Date and have fun. 

Younger man, younger you?

A recently divorced friend of mine just re-entered the dating scene.  She went online and met a man who she described as intelligent, funny, articulate, and seven years her junior.  When she first started to correspond with him on the net, she treated their relationship as just a fun friendship.  He told her jokes, directed her to some great new restaurants, and helped her figure out how to work her new MP3 player.  However, as they progressed to phone conversations, she realized there was some wonderful and new that could happen with this thirty-five year young man.  They have been dating now for about three months and she says she hasn't felt happier and more alive than she does now.

Can a younger man actually make you younger?  In my post divorce days, I have dated both older and younger men.  The young men that I dated were sexually more aggressive, took life less seriously, and were more spontaneous than my older beaus.  When I was around these men I felt sexy, special, and ready to get into some mischef.  On the down side, I sometimes also found myself feeling self-conscious when I was out with one of these guys and a pretty 25 year old walked by in tight pencil jeans and a barely there top.  Was I too matronly?  Problems also arose when I heard one of my favorite Stylistics songs on the old school radio station and realized my man was barely five years old when the song came out.

So does a younger man make you younger?  It depends on the man and it depends on you.  Does he have those special qualities you are looking for in a man regardless of his age?  Can you be a team despite your historical differences?  Are you confident enough in your mature beauty, to fend off the self-doubt that rival younger women can create?  If you can answer yes to these questions then, age is nothing but a number.