Life's New Page

They Call You Mr. Tibbs. They call me Nana.

I have always loved Sidney Poitier movies, my favorite being, In the Heat of the Night.  One of the most famous quotes from the film is " They call me Mr. Tibbs".  Its Sidney's way of telling the small town bigots to show him some respect.    When I think of my own life, I go by a few different names: Leslie, Les, Mom, But never. . .Grandma!

True, I am the proud grandmother of two terrific boys but, they call me Nana, not grandma. It may be a personal problem but, to me, the word "grandma" conjures up images of Ma and Pa Kettle sitting on the porch on their rocking chairs.  Nana on the other hand sounds so cute, so chic, so young. . . .  When the folks in the small southern town started to call Sidney Mr. Tibbs, he quickly started to gain their respect and admiration.  When my grandsons call me Nana, I still see myself as a young, sexy, interesting  woman. 

I'm not the only one with a phobia of the G word.  My boyfriend doesn't like his grandkids to call him grandpa.  Instead, he goes by the cooler sounding, G.P..  I had thought about G.M. but, sounding like a struggling auto maker just didn't make my day.

So if you ever see me on the street with my grandsons, for heaven sake don't call me grandma.  Call me Leslie, Ms. Smith, or Nana.  Hey, if it worked for Mr. Tibbs, surely it can work for me.

Are We Running Out of Time?

As we get older, we tend to either slow down and whittle the day away or cram as much as we can into a week thinking" we don't have much time left".

The truth of the matter is we really have no more or less time than we did when we were younger.  As my mother used to say, " Tommorrow is promised to noone".  Whether you are 20 or 80 life can end within the next hour, week or month.  We all saw that with the unexpected demise of Michael Jackson.  So should we live our lives as if we are running out of time, jamming in as many experiences as we can, or should we just let time pass us by.  Here are my suggestions:

1. Think about what you really want out of this life.  Do you want to be a great mother?  Have the top selling chicken business in the country, or spend hours lying in a hammock?  Decide what it is and set a goal.

2. Take steps to make it happen.  This means prioritizing your life.  Make sure you take a step towards your important goals every week.

3. Accept that all goals may not be achieveable.  Sometimes insurmountable obstacles prevent us from reaching our goals.  Take satisfaction in your current achievements and celebrate them.

Remember life is about living, not dying. 

Embrace Change

Last month two icons from my childhood passed away; Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson.  While I didn't know either of them personally, their deaths hit me hard. 

I remember looking forward to seeing Farrah and her fellow Angels get their new assignments every week from their mysterious boss.  Her long blonde tresses were the envy of many women.  She was the sex symbol of her time.

Michael Jackson and his famous brothers were my favorite group for much of my youth.  I don't think I ever missed any of their live appearances in New York between 1972 and 1978.  An ardent fan, I collected posters of Michael Jackson and rehearsed what I would say to him if we met (oddly enough I did meet him briefly at a play in New York.  He was so shy he could barely talk).

So why did the passing of these veritable strangers cause me to pause?  I think because their mere existence was an element of my personal history.  They were fixtures from my childhood.  Their deaths signalled a change in this place I call my world.  Change is never easy to accept.  But I realize now that since change like death is inevitable, wouldn't it be easier just to embrace it?  Despite the fact that these icons are gone, life goes on for the rest of us.  Rather than resist this change it is better to just allow our memories to live on.

Just Another Funny Line

There I was just sitting at my desk trying to review the motherload of emails that had accumulated over the past two days when I heard a shriek coming from upstairs.  Startled, I screamed "Are you okay?" 

My twentysomething year old daughter yelled back,  "Mom come up here.  You're not going to believe this!"  I bounded up the stairs uncertain of what I was going to find when I reached the top. Has someone broken in and had been hiding in her closet?  Had the army of ants who invade out home every summer launched their first attack? 

When I spotted my daughter, in a state of some undress (she had on a bra and shorts) in the upstairs hallway, she pointed to her face and stated," I need botox!  Look at these lines on my face!" 

Not quite knowing whether to be mad  (since she scared the hell out of me) or to laugh, I asked "What lines?"  She then pointed at a faint wrinkle that extended from the bottom of her left nostril to the left of her top lip.  "A laugh line?", I asked.  " You're worried about a laugh line?"

I calmly explained to her that  laugh lines should be considered a badges of honor.  They were the honorable souvenirs of a life full of laughter, good times and fun.  Looking at my own laugh lines in the mirror, I remembered all the times my father had tickled me when I was a child, the way I laughed and laughed as I watched my daughter taking her first steps, and how much I enjoyed watching reruns of "I Love Lucy".

Next time you look in the mirror, take a look at your laugh lines and remember to cherish them.  They are symbols of a wonderful life.

Risk Living Younger

I've been away for a while but, now I am back, making the most out of this thing called aging.

I was watching television the other day and I saw President Bush (the dad, not George W.) preparing to jump out of an airplane to celebrate his 85th birthday.  When the reporter asked why he was doing it, he replied something like it was better than saying I'm old and waiting to die.  He plans to do it again on his 90th birthday! 

Does living younger mean living dangerously?  Perhaps for some but, I think it just means getting out of your comfort zone.  It involves taking some sort of risk, big or small to remind yourself that you are still alive.  Most people over 40 don't want to take risks because it is not the "mature" thing to do.  After all, our generation has responsibilities; a mortagage, car payments, families that rely on us.  We can't put those things on the line.  But, if you really think about it.  The reason why we have those things is because at some point in our lives we were willing to take a risk.

I don't know if I want to try jumping out of a plane but, I am willing to pursue new passions, meet new friends, and discover new things about myself.   Look at your life today.  Are you stuck in a comfort zone? Are you feeling older by the minute. What risk are you willing to take to live younger today?

Growing Up

Watching the recent election this past week, it occurred to me, did Michelle Obama ever dream when she was a little girl that one day she would become First Lady?  I think back to when I met Michelle many years ago at Princeton.  She was fresh faced, lean and lanky and a jock just like her brother.  Looking at her now, the remnants of the jock have disappeared and she is a poised wife and mother.  How do we go from one extreme to the other?

I remember when I was a girl.  I had dreams of becoming an actress and then a Hollywood agent.  I had no inkling I would be doing what I do now.  My acting career has been limited to extra roles here and there.  I have since moved away from Hollywood.  My desires and dreams have changed, mainly because of my experiences and choices in life.  I guess that is what they call growing up.

While I may not make it to the White House, I am sure I will continue to evolve as my life goes on.  It's all about living life.  And as one 90 yearold gentleman told me, "I'm going to keep on living, until I die".

Why I'm Glad I'm Not 21 Anymore

When you talk to some women over the age of 40 many sigh and recall the glory days of their twenties.  They remember when they fit into a size 2 dress, or how they had a super flat abdomen, or maybe even how they were aggressively pursued by the opposite sex.  True, life at 21 was probably grand but, what's wrong with life now?                

I for one am glad I'm not twenty-one anymore.  At 48 I feel I have more to give the world with the knowledge and experience I have gained over the years.  I now know what I want in a mate and what I can't tolerate.  I know what kind of work interests me and can accurately describe my skills and talents.  At 48, I can better appreciate the importance of good health, love, and faith.

Sure, I don't have a washboard abdomen anymore, but the person I am now is just fine.

Is Your Body Language Making You Ten Years Older?

Women spend thousands of dollars every year to look younger.  Many do it through face-lifts, tummy tucks and breast enhancements.  Others choose expensive personal trainers and stylists.  The truth is that even with the plastic surgery and weight loss, you can still look ten years older because of your body language.  Here are a few waysyour body may be aging you.

1. You have poor posture

Do you slump when you sit, walk or stand?  Bad posture not only makes you look old, it can also cause health problems like neck and lower back strain.  Standing tall will make you look slimmer because it flattens the tummy area.  Good posturealso helps your organs work better, allowing blood and oxygen to flow easier.  The result isincreased energy and a younger appearance.

     2.  You seldom smile

Smiles send positive messages about you.  They say you are friendly, open, optimistic, positive and confident.  Frowns on the other hand, communicate to others that you are aloof, negative, stressed, and disapproving.  Smiling also has health benefits.  Research has shown that people who are optimistic and smile have stronger immune systems.  A stronger immune system is one of the factors in an age-defying life. So, if you want to look and feel younger, break out a smile.

    3.   You shuffle your feet

Have you ever watched a frail, elderly person walk down the street?  They ususally move very slowly, barely lifting their feet off the ground.  The sad fact is that many younger, perfectly healthy women walk in this fashion too.  If you want to look younger, don't drag your feet along the ground.  Take strong, energetic strides.  Improving your gait will not only make you look more confident, but it will give you youthful exuberance.

Focus On Your Success

I was watching the Olympics on television the other night and was astounded by the fitness, athletic ability and courage of Dara Torres.  At the age of 41 she chose to compete at the Olympics.  Swimming in a pool with some competitors less than half her age, she won a silver medal.  When asked how she did it, she mentioned a lot of hard work, training and focusing on success.

How many of us as we get older focus on what we can't do rather than on what we can.  A friend of mine in her mid fifties told me how she would love to lose a little weight but thinks she is too old to start exercising.  Another woman I know is unhappy at her job as a legal secretary but thinks at the age of 49, going to law school is out of the question.  Even I have succumbed to this mindset at one time or another.  I had set a personal goal of learning a couple of new languages, Spanish and Arabic.  I put off beginning this task for months because I thought it would be too difficult because my memory was not as good as it used to be.  Fortunately, I have rethought my position and have begun my quest to be fluent in Spanish, listening to language CDs. 

As intelligent, mature women, let's not focus on what we feel is impossible to do.  Let's take a lesson from Dara Torres and focus on our success. Think of what you can do today that will get you closer to your goal.   Then take that fearless first step.

Growing Older, Living Younger

They say when you're over 40 you are over the hill.  I say climbing that hill and reaching the peak is an accomplishment.  What's on the other side is a whole new beginning, a new page in our lives.  The women who know how to navigate the other side of the hill are masters at growing older but, living younger. 

These women are not difficult to spot.  They are usually the ones who look 10 years younger because they make putting themselves first, mind, body, and spirit, a priority. Experts at living younger are creative spirits who are open to new challenges, whether it be going back to school for a graduate degree, starting their own business, or rejoining the dating scene after 20 years.  These women know that daring to chase their dreams is not foolish but, a journey that keeps them thriving and feeling alive.

Are you ready to start living younger?