Life's New Page

Be A Sister of Reinvention

We have all heard the saying, "the mother of reinvention".  If you really want to live younger, then you have to be a sister of reinvention. 

Being a sister of reinvention takes three major steps:

1. Take a step back and look at your life.  Are you doing what really makes you happy?  How much of your day is spent doing things that enrich your life, bring you closer to your goals, or bring a smile to your face?  Reassess your priorities.

2. Get a game plan.  Determine how you can start spending more time doing what is important to you and less time on trivial matters.  This is a good time to look at your support network.  Are there people in your life that can help you as you make this transition.  Help in this circumstance could be anything from helping you to connect to the right people for a job change, to  just being a sounding board for new ideas.

3. Dare to make the change.  Don't just talk about it, plan i,t or dream it, make it happen!  The transition does not have to happen overnight.  It could be baby steps that point you in the right direction.  Just realize change is never easy.  It could take days, or it could take years.  What keeps you young is the challenge of making a dream a reality.

For me, being a sister of reinvention took a long time.  When I looked at my life I realized I had been pursuing the wrong career.  While I performed satisfactorily at my job, I really took no joy in it. Taking a leap of faith, I devised a game plan that allowed me to return to school and pursue another graduate degree.  I know embarking on a new career is going to be a long haul but, the every day challenges of starting over at middle age, keeps me younger.

Are you ready to join the sisterhood of reinvention?   

Be a tipologist

Do you want to live a younger, easier life?  Become a tipologist.  Tips are what make the world go round.  I love tips because most of the time they can make life easier.  Too often, we spin our wheels trying to complete a task.  Tips provide a short cut.  It can be as simple as how to organize your family photos better to how to organize a 25th reunion.  Taking advice from others who have already suffered through the trials and tribulations of doing something the hard way is a lifesaver.  Doing things the hard way is stressful; and stress is a killer.  

They Call You Mr. Tibbs. They call me Nana.

I have always loved Sidney Poitier movies, my favorite being, In the Heat of the Night.  One of the most famous quotes from the film is " They call me Mr. Tibbs".  Its Sidney's way of telling the small town bigots to show him some respect.    When I think of my own life, I go by a few different names: Leslie, Les, Mom, But never. . .Grandma!

True, I am the proud grandmother of two terrific boys but, they call me Nana, not grandma. It may be a personal problem but, to me, the word "grandma" conjures up images of Ma and Pa Kettle sitting on the porch on their rocking chairs.  Nana on the other hand sounds so cute, so chic, so young. . . .  When the folks in the small southern town started to call Sidney Mr. Tibbs, he quickly started to gain their respect and admiration.  When my grandsons call me Nana, I still see myself as a young, sexy, interesting  woman. 

I'm not the only one with a phobia of the G word.  My boyfriend doesn't like his grandkids to call him grandpa.  Instead, he goes by the cooler sounding, G.P..  I had thought about G.M. but, sounding like a struggling auto maker just didn't make my day.

So if you ever see me on the street with my grandsons, for heaven sake don't call me grandma.  Call me Leslie, Ms. Smith, or Nana.  Hey, if it worked for Mr. Tibbs, surely it can work for me.

How To Find More Time To Do More of What You Love On The Weekends

It's been a long work week and you are looking forward to the weekend.  Maybe you want to read that new bestseller that 's been sitting on your nightstand for weeks, or, perhaps, you are planning to spoil yourself with a few home-brewed spa treatments.  But with all your great plans, when Sunday night rolls around, you look up and discover you really haven't done anything.  How do you find time to do more of what you love on the weekends?  Here are a few tips:  

1. Map out specific activities ahead of time

This means not only say to yourself "I am going to... or I plan to...", it means get specific about when and where.  For example, if you want to go bike riding, say or better yet, write down  that you will bike ride on Saturday afternoon at 1:00p.m. in the park.  Being vague about what you want to do seems to lessens its importance and hence your commitment to making it happen.

2. Be realistic about the time available

Saying you are going to try out a new recipe this weekend that takes two hours to prepare, when you only have 20 minutes to spare in your day is impractical.  Consider the time you have to spend and schedule the activity accordingly.  If it is something you really want to do, see if other things in your day can be rescheduled.  If not, plan on doing your fun activity the next weekend when you have the time to really enjoy it.

3. Delegate tasks to others

If your weekend is filled with task-oriented activities, see if you can delegate them to others.  For example, if the laundry is overflowing and you need to get it done, see if your spouse or children can take over this task so you can have time to spend with friends. 

4. Remember the weekend is meant as a break

The weekend was designed as a break from the work week.  It is supposed to be a time to reenergize yourself and do other things in your life.  Filling your weekend with work not only defeats the purpose but, depletes your most important resource...you.

Are We Running Out of Time?

As we get older, we tend to either slow down and whittle the day away or cram as much as we can into a week thinking" we don't have much time left".

The truth of the matter is we really have no more or less time than we did when we were younger.  As my mother used to say, " Tommorrow is promised to noone".  Whether you are 20 or 80 life can end within the next hour, week or month.  We all saw that with the unexpected demise of Michael Jackson.  So should we live our lives as if we are running out of time, jamming in as many experiences as we can, or should we just let time pass us by.  Here are my suggestions:

1. Think about what you really want out of this life.  Do you want to be a great mother?  Have the top selling chicken business in the country, or spend hours lying in a hammock?  Decide what it is and set a goal.

2. Take steps to make it happen.  This means prioritizing your life.  Make sure you take a step towards your important goals every week.

3. Accept that all goals may not be achieveable.  Sometimes insurmountable obstacles prevent us from reaching our goals.  Take satisfaction in your current achievements and celebrate them.

Remember life is about living, not dying. 

Gray, Gray Go Away, Come Again Another Day?

Lately I have been getting a lot of comments about my gray hair.  While I am not completely gray, I do have significant patches of the silvery strands on my crown and back of my head.  I had made a regular practice of coloring my hair, first a dark auburn and then a jet black.  However, since I recently made the decision to sport a super short hairdo (practically bald), coloring isn't that effective.  When your hair is really short, it seems to grow very fast.  Coloring now would mean practically exposing my hair to chemicals on a weekly basis.

Why do we get so hung up on gray hair, anyway?  Yes, gray can make us look older but, it can also look fabulous.  A little salt and pepper hair coloring can make you look wise, bold, and individualistic.  If I have learned anything, looking older is not just a function of what's on the outside but what's in your heart and in your head.

So, if you still have any concerns or are feeling depressed about your gray hair, check out the following blog, www.goinggrayblog.com It is packed with tips and stories of beautiful women happily going gray.

Does Prince Charming Exist After 40?

Last month, I ran into a woman I used to hang out with in college. After making some small talk, she mentioned that she was going through a difficult divorce. The last time I saw this woman she had just come from her honeymoon with her self-proclaimed 'prince charming". At the time, I agreed with her. The woman's then husband had all the makings of royalty. He was a 50 something guy who was athletic, smart, handsome and well heeled. An affable gentleman in every sense of the word. Pam had claimed he had rescued her from a life of lonliness and boredom. However, a year into the marriage she discovered he was cheating on her with a 27 year old who worked in his office. Prince Charming had turned into the Grinch. She stated to me that she shouldn't have been surprised because, "Prince Charming doesn't exist when you're over 40".

Does turning 40 somehow make us less, attractive, sexy, intelligent, or desirable?  I think not.  Women over 40 can be super attractive, sexy, intelligent and desirable .  Through a system of trial and error and experience, we have learned what looks good on us and what doesn't.  We know what turns a man's head and what pleases both him and ourselves in the bedroom.

As for Prince Charming, he is out there for women over forty.  Frogs can appear at any age, and if you are over 40, chances are you have kissed your share of them.  Just remember that it is more important to be your best you.  And as for the Princes out there, "watch out!!"

Embrace Change

Last month two icons from my childhood passed away; Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson.  While I didn't know either of them personally, their deaths hit me hard. 

I remember looking forward to seeing Farrah and her fellow Angels get their new assignments every week from their mysterious boss.  Her long blonde tresses were the envy of many women.  She was the sex symbol of her time.

Michael Jackson and his famous brothers were my favorite group for much of my youth.  I don't think I ever missed any of their live appearances in New York between 1972 and 1978.  An ardent fan, I collected posters of Michael Jackson and rehearsed what I would say to him if we met (oddly enough I did meet him briefly at a play in New York.  He was so shy he could barely talk).

So why did the passing of these veritable strangers cause me to pause?  I think because their mere existence was an element of my personal history.  They were fixtures from my childhood.  Their deaths signalled a change in this place I call my world.  Change is never easy to accept.  But I realize now that since change like death is inevitable, wouldn't it be easier just to embrace it?  Despite the fact that these icons are gone, life goes on for the rest of us.  Rather than resist this change it is better to just allow our memories to live on.

Just Another Funny Line

There I was just sitting at my desk trying to review the motherload of emails that had accumulated over the past two days when I heard a shriek coming from upstairs.  Startled, I screamed "Are you okay?" 

My twentysomething year old daughter yelled back,  "Mom come up here.  You're not going to believe this!"  I bounded up the stairs uncertain of what I was going to find when I reached the top. Has someone broken in and had been hiding in her closet?  Had the army of ants who invade out home every summer launched their first attack? 

When I spotted my daughter, in a state of some undress (she had on a bra and shorts) in the upstairs hallway, she pointed to her face and stated," I need botox!  Look at these lines on my face!" 

Not quite knowing whether to be mad  (since she scared the hell out of me) or to laugh, I asked "What lines?"  She then pointed at a faint wrinkle that extended from the bottom of her left nostril to the left of her top lip.  "A laugh line?", I asked.  " You're worried about a laugh line?"

I calmly explained to her that  laugh lines should be considered a badges of honor.  They were the honorable souvenirs of a life full of laughter, good times and fun.  Looking at my own laugh lines in the mirror, I remembered all the times my father had tickled me when I was a child, the way I laughed and laughed as I watched my daughter taking her first steps, and how much I enjoyed watching reruns of "I Love Lucy".

Next time you look in the mirror, take a look at your laugh lines and remember to cherish them.  They are symbols of a wonderful life.

Risk Living Younger

I've been away for a while but, now I am back, making the most out of this thing called aging.

I was watching television the other day and I saw President Bush (the dad, not George W.) preparing to jump out of an airplane to celebrate his 85th birthday.  When the reporter asked why he was doing it, he replied something like it was better than saying I'm old and waiting to die.  He plans to do it again on his 90th birthday! 

Does living younger mean living dangerously?  Perhaps for some but, I think it just means getting out of your comfort zone.  It involves taking some sort of risk, big or small to remind yourself that you are still alive.  Most people over 40 don't want to take risks because it is not the "mature" thing to do.  After all, our generation has responsibilities; a mortagage, car payments, families that rely on us.  We can't put those things on the line.  But, if you really think about it.  The reason why we have those things is because at some point in our lives we were willing to take a risk.

I don't know if I want to try jumping out of a plane but, I am willing to pursue new passions, meet new friends, and discover new things about myself.   Look at your life today.  Are you stuck in a comfort zone? Are you feeling older by the minute. What risk are you willing to take to live younger today?