Life's New Page

Embrace Change

Last month two icons from my childhood passed away; Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson.  While I didn't know either of them personally, their deaths hit me hard. 

I remember looking forward to seeing Farrah and her fellow Angels get their new assignments every week from their mysterious boss.  Her long blonde tresses were the envy of many women.  She was the sex symbol of her time.

Michael Jackson and his famous brothers were my favorite group for much of my youth.  I don't think I ever missed any of their live appearances in New York between 1972 and 1978.  An ardent fan, I collected posters of Michael Jackson and rehearsed what I would say to him if we met (oddly enough I did meet him briefly at a play in New York.  He was so shy he could barely talk).

So why did the passing of these veritable strangers cause me to pause?  I think because their mere existence was an element of my personal history.  They were fixtures from my childhood.  Their deaths signalled a change in this place I call my world.  Change is never easy to accept.  But I realize now that since change like death is inevitable, wouldn't it be easier just to embrace it?  Despite the fact that these icons are gone, life goes on for the rest of us.  Rather than resist this change it is better to just allow our memories to live on.

Just Another Funny Line

There I was just sitting at my desk trying to review the motherload of emails that had accumulated over the past two days when I heard a shriek coming from upstairs.  Startled, I screamed "Are you okay?" 

My twentysomething year old daughter yelled back,  "Mom come up here.  You're not going to believe this!"  I bounded up the stairs uncertain of what I was going to find when I reached the top. Has someone broken in and had been hiding in her closet?  Had the army of ants who invade out home every summer launched their first attack? 

When I spotted my daughter, in a state of some undress (she had on a bra and shorts) in the upstairs hallway, she pointed to her face and stated," I need botox!  Look at these lines on my face!" 

Not quite knowing whether to be mad  (since she scared the hell out of me) or to laugh, I asked "What lines?"  She then pointed at a faint wrinkle that extended from the bottom of her left nostril to the left of her top lip.  "A laugh line?", I asked.  " You're worried about a laugh line?"

I calmly explained to her that  laugh lines should be considered a badges of honor.  They were the honorable souvenirs of a life full of laughter, good times and fun.  Looking at my own laugh lines in the mirror, I remembered all the times my father had tickled me when I was a child, the way I laughed and laughed as I watched my daughter taking her first steps, and how much I enjoyed watching reruns of "I Love Lucy".

Next time you look in the mirror, take a look at your laugh lines and remember to cherish them.  They are symbols of a wonderful life.

Risk Living Younger

I've been away for a while but, now I am back, making the most out of this thing called aging.

I was watching television the other day and I saw President Bush (the dad, not George W.) preparing to jump out of an airplane to celebrate his 85th birthday.  When the reporter asked why he was doing it, he replied something like it was better than saying I'm old and waiting to die.  He plans to do it again on his 90th birthday! 

Does living younger mean living dangerously?  Perhaps for some but, I think it just means getting out of your comfort zone.  It involves taking some sort of risk, big or small to remind yourself that you are still alive.  Most people over 40 don't want to take risks because it is not the "mature" thing to do.  After all, our generation has responsibilities; a mortagage, car payments, families that rely on us.  We can't put those things on the line.  But, if you really think about it.  The reason why we have those things is because at some point in our lives we were willing to take a risk.

I don't know if I want to try jumping out of a plane but, I am willing to pursue new passions, meet new friends, and discover new things about myself.   Look at your life today.  Are you stuck in a comfort zone? Are you feeling older by the minute. What risk are you willing to take to live younger today?

Got Attitude?

In these trying economic times, it's becoming increasingly difficult not only to keep one's head above water but, to keep a simple smile on your face.  Every day the newspapers and television programs are filled with stories of more layoffs, stores closing, and foreclosures.  The mere stress of the current situation is enough to make the average person feel at least 10 years older.  How do you get through times like these without feeling hopeless?  It's all in your attitude.  We all have the power to put a positive spin on even the worst of times.  Here are a few tips to get you going:

1.    Limit the time you spend watching news programs about the economy.  The less doom and gloom you concentrate on the better.

2.    I know it sounds hokey but...be grateful for what you do have in your life.  Take time to be grateful for friends, family, your health, etc....  Gratitude is a positive reinforcement.

3.    Stay fit.  Eat healthy and exercise whenever you can.  Maintaining your health can help you deal with the stress associated with hard economic times.

4.    Do something fun, just for you.  Even though money might be tight, find a way to do something that will make you laugh or raise your spirits.  It can be anything from watching a funny movie on television to having an inexpensive lunch with a friend.

Wigging Out?

I remember when I was about ten years old, going to church with my mother, and seeing one of the deacons sitting in the front row.  What stood out about her wasn't her colorful wardrobe or the way she used to chatter up the congregation.  What left a lasting impression on me was her wig.  It was a chocolate brown, short, curly thing that sort of sat perched on her head like a Sunday- best hat. 

It never looked like it could actually be her hair.  First, it was always crooked.  Second, at sixty she just didn't look like she could have hair of that color or texture. 

My next experience with wigs was with my oldest sister.  In the sixties and the seventies, she considered herself a fashionista and a trendsetter.  She used wigs as an accessory to her outfits.  If she had on an elaborate, ostentatious gown, then she wore a long, luxorious wig.  If she had on hot pants and a midriff top, she wore an ultra mod short wig.  If she had on a fire engine red dress, sometimes, she even wore a red (like a stop light)  wig.  Yikes!!

Though I never dreamed I would step into the world of wigs myself, I have worn a few. Look in any fashion magazine, or at any television show, and you will see some actress or model sporting a hair piece, wig or hair extension.    I have used them not only as an accessory but, a personal statement of my versatility.  I do have a few ground rules though:

1.    It has to be a good quality wig.  Cheap wigs tend to shed and just look fake.

2.    It has to look like it could actually be my hair.  If the texture of the wig is too straight or the color looks unnatural, it will never grace my head.

3.    It must enhance my look, not detract from it.  

Wigs are not for everyone.  But, today, wigs are becoming more mainstream.  So if you are looking to live life on the wild side, try wigging out.  

Gray Matter

You get up one morning and look in the mirror.  There it is, that first gray hair.  For some women, the sighting of a gray hair is equivalent to someone telling them they gained five pounds.  It is a sign they are a little less perfect ,a little less beautiful and alot older. 

The fact of the matter is, gray hair has very little to do with getting older.  It is generally due to the reduction of the manufacturing of melanin in the hair shaft.  This can occur due to heredity or as some suggest, a lack of Vitamin B12 in the diet. 

My mother spotted her first gray strands when she was thirteen!  For her it was a matter of heredity.  After years of dyeing her hair, she finally learned to embrace her gray mane when she turned forty.  Instead of trying to cover it up, she used products that helped to emphasize her silver strands.  Now, at age 80, people are still complimenting her on her lovely gray hair.

So what if it still bugs you that those unruly gray hairs are  showing up on your head?  Here are some suggestions:

1.    Go to a professional hair colorist on a regular basis.  They have hair color now that provides complete coverage.

2.    Wear a wig

3.    Adjust your diet.  While the studies aren't conclusive, they seem to indicate having sufficient B Vitamins in your diet may help to prevent or slow down the growth of gray hair.

Growing Up

Watching the recent election this past week, it occurred to me, did Michelle Obama ever dream when she was a little girl that one day she would become First Lady?  I think back to when I met Michelle many years ago at Princeton.  She was fresh faced, lean and lanky and a jock just like her brother.  Looking at her now, the remnants of the jock have disappeared and she is a poised wife and mother.  How do we go from one extreme to the other?

I remember when I was a girl.  I had dreams of becoming an actress and then a Hollywood agent.  I had no inkling I would be doing what I do now.  My acting career has been limited to extra roles here and there.  I have since moved away from Hollywood.  My desires and dreams have changed, mainly because of my experiences and choices in life.  I guess that is what they call growing up.

While I may not make it to the White House, I am sure I will continue to evolve as my life goes on.  It's all about living life.  And as one 90 yearold gentleman told me, "I'm going to keep on living, until I die".

Date and have fun

You're over forty and trying to get back into the dating scene.  Thinking back to when you were in your twenties, it seemed so easy to catch a man's eye.  A little smile, or even a prolonged glance did the trick.  You also may have done so wild and crazy things.  Maybe you made out in the elevator of his apartment building, or you took a road trip in his VW bug with the missing door handle.  But is all that game playing just for kids?  

Dating should be fun.  A little harmless flirting just adds to the enjoyment.  Too often women over forty tend to get too serious and apprehensive about dating.  A man told a woman I know that she had a beautiful name.  She rebuffed his comment and wondered what his real motives were for the remark.  I think she just has a nice name.  Much of this defensiveness I guess is from the battle wounds we carry from all those Prince Charmings that turned out to be heels. But you know what they say about riding a horse.  If you fall off, you have to just get back on. Let down your guard a little and open yourself up.  Try something new.  Date and have fun. 

Where Are The Fashion Magazines For Mature Women?

The fall fashion season is in full swing but, where are the magazines that carry fashion for women over 40?  Go to any local newstand and you will find tons of fashion magazines, Glamour; Elle; Lucky; to name a few.  But open these magazines and they are filled models and fashion for the twentysomething crowd.  Don't get me wrong some strides have been made in this area.   Mature women adorn the pages of O magazine, More, Chico's and Coldwater Creek catalogues but,  we need to see more of the same.  Publishers, if you are out there listening, women over 40 love to look chic too.  We're ready and waiting....

Battle of the Batwings

As I was getting dressed the other day I noticed I was getting batwings.  For those of you who don't know what these are, they are those pieces of skin and flesh that keep waving even after you stop waving your arms.  Unfortunately, it one of the first areas that tends to sag, as we get older.  Can something be done about them?  Here are a few tips to make them less noticeable:   

1.    Lose weight.  Part of the batwing problem is due to excess fat in this area.  Since studies show that spot reducing does not work, losing some weight overall may have a positive effect.

2.    Toning the muscle.  While spot reducing is not practical, toning the muscles in the arms is a possible solution.  The tricep muscle, or the muscle on the underside of the arm, is a short muscle that can be easily toned with some simple exercises.  Try raising a 5 to 10 pound dumbell from behind your shoulder to above your head, and then down again.  Do this for several repetitions and then change to the other side.  If you are a bit stronger and more athletic, try some pushups.  Pushups are not only great for the triceps but, are a good chest exercise.

3.    Plastic surgery.  If your batwings are due to loose skin from losing alot of weight, plastic surgery may be your option.